The Stevens Family

Throughout my pregnancy, I’ve prayed that I would make it to full term. Each week was a milestone celebration. I was looking forward to reaching the point of viability until we learned about Walt’s diagnosis and heard that he most likely would not survive at 24 weeks because of his heart condition. At that point, each week was a reminder that he still needed to stay in longer. We found ourselves holding our breath, praying for them to both continue growing inside my womb. Walt needed to be a certain weight for surgery, and he would be safest the longer he could develop inside.

My midwives have coached me from the start on what I can do to help the babies stay in as long as possible. Of course there are some things that can’t be prevented, and we all recognized that, but I was determined to do my best with what I could control. For me that involved eating healthy, prioritizing protein, avoiding processed foods, quitting caffeine and soda cold turkey, taking a bazillion supplements, drinking a daily protein smoothie that tastes gross, exercising on the yoga ball…you get the picture.

All of that effort was to get to full term. It was to allow my babies to come in their own timing once their little bodies and lungs fully developed. It wasn’t to get them close to full term and then evict them with drugs once we reached a certain date on the calendar.

I’ve gotten much feedback about my decision not to induce without a legitimate medical reason. Some are supportive, understanding the cons. Others are concerned, thinking I’m just being stubborn.

First of all, I’m 37 weeks, and no one has wanted me to induce now. What doctors would like is to schedule an induction between 38-39 weeks. What that tells me is that there’s no emergency or true medical reason. Instead, it’s the hospital’s normal protocol. “We don’t let twins go past 38 weeks.” That is a normal response from OBs when dealing with a twin mom. Why? Because it’s what they’ve been taught. Their primary goal is to limit liability and create as predictable an environment as possible. The vast majority have not witnessed a natural, physiological birth outside of a sterile hospital setting.

The medical system likes inductions because they’re scheduled. It makes doctors feel in control of a naturally wild situation. It reduces variability in a process where variation is the norm.

Why do I not like inductions? It’s asking a woman’s body and baby to do something they’re not ready to do. Pitocin makes contractions stronger and more constant. And because it’s not natural, it so often ends in a “failure to progress” diagnosis. Mom’s body is accused of not being able to do what it was made to do. The baby’s heart rate drops, the woman’s body goes into distress, and both are rushed off for an emergency c-section. Then, afterwards, people will say, “It’s so good you were at the hospital!” even though it’s the hospital that caused the cascade of problems in the first place. 

Medical interventions can be necessary in some situations, and I’m open to that. For anyone to suggest that my babies are not my absolute highest priority is offensive. I would die for them, so I would certainly suffer through stronger contractions or a surgical recovery for them. I make my decisions based on the pros and cons of any given intervention.

I’m not trying to prove anything. I’ve already given up my ideal birth. I’ve given up laboring in the peace and comfort of my own home. I’ve given up on the idea that there will only be a few people in the room. I’ve given up the feeling of safety that comes from laboring and pushing in darkness and quiet. If you’ve never listened to Dr. Stu, I highly recommend his Birthing Instincts podcast. He talks about how all mammals instinctually go to a quiet place by themselves to give birth, and if they are interrupted by a predator (or even a loud child), adrenaline kicks in, causing their labor to stall until they feel safe again. Humans are the same, though our culture has largely forgotten those principles.

Instead of a peaceful, safe environment, I’ll be in an operating room with bright lights and everyone and their brother in the room. Instead of eating when I feel hungry and drinking when I’m thirsty, I’ll be sneaking in my own snacks. Instead of waiting to give birth to my placentas, nurses will tug on the cords, increasing the risk of hemorrhaging. Instead of knowing with certainty that my providers will wait until the babies’ cords stop pulsing to clamp them, I’ll have to be on guard to make sure they don’t just follow protocol, reducing the stem cells and blood volume my babies receive. Instead of being confident that I’ll have immediate skin-to-skin contact with my babies with no baths or hats, I’ll have to be alert, ensuring that our wishes are followed as closely as possible so long as there’s no real emergency.

I didn’t want to have to advocate for myself during birth. I wanted a physiological, instinctual birth…the kind women have been experiencing for thousands of years. But I gave all that up because one of my babies needs expert care shortly after birth. I moved out of state to a house I’d never seen and established care with new providers at 36 weeks for my babies. I left my family, my pets, my church, and everything familiar — and it’s all 100% worth it.

But know that when I say I’m not agreeing to a routine induction just because we’ve reached a certain date on the calendar, it’s not because I’m being stubborn or trying to prove something. It’s because I’ve researched, talked to experts on both sides, and have prayerfully made a decision. There are no guarantees in life, and every decision, particularly those involving the tiny humans I’ve grown in my womb for nine months and love with all of my being, is heavy. We trust God’s sovereignty and rest in knowing that there’s no decision we can make to thwart His plans. While we feel the responsibility of stewarding them well and advocating for them as best we can, we know that ultimately He is guiding their lives.

“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” Job‬ ‭42‬:‭2‬